Surviving The Call of Cthulhu: Advice for new players of the roll playing game

Call of Cthulhu is not an easy game. Instead of leveling up like in D&D, any increase in power is checked by, in the very least, a deteriorating mind. It’s a real challenge to roll play realistically a character the player knows is doomed. So I thought I’d write up a couple of notes that might help.

1 Be prepared. Boy scouts got it right. Have a plan, have a backup plan, and have one for when those two don’t work (and they won’t). Do your research and scout things out. When do you want to learn that the warehouse you just broke into has a security force inside? When do you want to start reading the mythos tome with the binding spell for the monster that the cultist just summoned? Don’t get yourself into anything that you aren’t ready to handle. Only fools rush in.

2 Delay at your own risk. What, you think the bad guys are waiting for you to gear up? Act with the tools on hand. If you don’t have what it takes to deal with the cultists while they are summoning monsters, then you really don’t have what it takes to stop them after the creatures get summoned.

3 The authorities are your friends. You pay your taxes. Who do you think is better able to shut down the midnight ceremony in the museum of those dozen cultists who are murdering children? You?! If you can show the cops that illegal crap is going down, let them kick in the doors and unload their shotguns. That what they’re there for.

4 Trust no one. Do you really want to explain to the cops how you are trying to save the world from evil gods? What do you think is going to happen when Johnny Law gets a look at your mythos tomes an alien tech? If civilian leadership could handle this stuff they would have thousands of years ago. And just imagine the Bush II administration with the Necronomicon! Remember, the end of Raiders of the Lost Arc was probably a best case scenario.

5 Guns don’t kill people… Hell yeah they do, but then again you are people too. A bullet to the head is great against the magic using high priest of Yog-Sothoth. But know your level of firepower. Sometimes a couple of dotty old professors with handguns can deal with the situation; sometimes you need to hire a goon to trigger the dynamite. This is not a treasure hunt; you can’t worry about what will be lost if you burn a temple to the dark gods to the ground. Nuke the site from orbit as Ripley suggested in Aliens and you won’t retrieved any goodies, but you also won’t lose lives.

6 Knowledge is power. To defeat the mythos you must know the mythos. It is a sad reality but there it is. Bullets don’t do anything against Yog-Sothoth. The reason why the mythos drives people mad is because it both totally contradicts all human notions of reality and triggers DNA level instincts of flight. But only it has the knowledge to counter what is happening. Don’t discount using the same books and artifacts cultists use. Beg, borrow, and steal what you need. Corpses are great to ransack, but you can’t find anything in a pile of ashes.

7 Out of sight, out of mind. The mythos causes insanity; is that something you really want to delve into? The reason why the mythos drives people mad is because it both totally contradicts all human notions of reality and trigger DNA level instincts of flight. Ignorance is bliss; avoid what you can, it’s much safer that way.

8 Never surrender. You are going to save the world; there is no one else. Having your head in the sand won’t change anything. It’s all or nothing, do or die. Cthulhu doesn’t care if you were involved in the attempt to stop it or not; either way you aren’t safe.

9 Crazy is as crazy does. Don’t expect cultists or mythos creatures to be predictable. Charles Manson is too put together to worship the likes of Azathoth, and alien beings are just that. Expected the unexpected and throw those preconceptions out the window.

10 Focus, Grasshopper. CoC isn’t D&D but that doesn’t mean you are powerless. Remember what your characters can do and get use to standardizing actions and calling for rolls. The mythos is pretty predictable: cultists are insane and the beings they serve just want destruction, this gives you the edge of rationalism. Use it to you advantage.

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 Shit I See on FaceBook

Let’s face it: there’s a lot of crap on FaceBook. But when it is especially heinous and easily mocked in PhotoShop, how can I resist?

This image comes from one of my “friends.”

My commentary is in blue.

God is There

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 Jonah Hex

I missed the first few minutes of this film version of the hard core, former confederate, comic book character, but made up for it by turning it off a couple of minutes before it ended. Bounty hunter Jonah Hex seeks revenge again a confederate officer who killed his family and now seeks to destroy the US. There just isn’t anything to this film and it’s hard to imagine that the legions of Jonah Hex fans made this film popular. Am I insane for thinking that a good movie version of an obscure comic character might help bring people to the comic and comics in general (you know, the stuff Marvel claims it cares about)?

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 If I Ruled the Planet…

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A true ArmzRace collaboration! Conceived by Mark! Directed by John. Performed by Lyric. Sold out by Cej.

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 Vada a bordo, cazzo!

We live in a world where people are quick to pass the buck, to claim it’s not their problem, to blame others, to manipulate the truth, to lie. It might not be anything new, but I feels like it gets worse every year.

The outraged that Italian cost guard commander De Falco expressed at the seeming cowardly incompetence of the captain of the Costa Concodia cruise ship gets to the heart of the matter in the one phrase: Vada a bordo, cazzo. Roughly translated, it means “Get back on board, you dick!”

Capt Schettino: But do you realize it is dark and here we can’t see anything…

Commander De Falco: And so what? You want go home, Schettino? It is dark and you want to go home?

It is always dark, it’s always hard to see, and we always want to go home. Stop your whining, cut the excuses, take responsibility, do your job.

You’ll be surprised how quickly the world becomes a better place.

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 Secret Warriors vol. 3-4 Wake the Beast & Last Ride of the Howling Commandos – Jonathan Hickman

First off, Cej, better get off his butt and get me the rest of the series. How inconsiderate! Anyway, maybe you’ve heard, the international terrorist organization, Hydra, secretly control, well, just about everything, and it’s up to everyone’s favorite, absolutely no super powers, one-eyed wonder, Nick Fury, army grunt turned super spy turned rogue, to stop them. It’s strange, as I don’t really like the idea of Fury going off to save the world by his lonesome (he’s not really alone, but…) or all the things this series is doing (or really maybe I should say Brian Michael Bendis is doing, as he seems to have more influence in the Marvel universal these days than Hydra), yet I’m eating it up. Maybe it’s the quite desperation of the lone warrior verse impossible odds that appeals to the desperado in me.

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 Aquatic Adventures Fun With Ginglymostoma Cirratum

What I am doing in St Thomas:

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 Captain America: Two Americas – Ed Brubaker

I long ago lost track as to which order to read the Cap series of trades in but it doesn’t matter too much. This collection deals with the confusion that having two Captain America would obviously cause (did I mention there are two?). So throw in a third and a domestic terrorist plot and enjoy. I like Brubaker most when he’s having Cap deal with non-super powered bad guys and I like how he was playing with the idea of too many Captain Americas, but I’m still not thrilled with the whole Steve Rogers is back from the dead and so is Bucky and now he’s Cap etc thing that Brubaker is kind of forced to deal with.

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 Captain America: Reborn – Ed Brubaker

I really liked that Brubaker took over Captain America as he managed to turn this symbol of America into something it never was to me: an interesting comic. But all this craziness of Cap getting assassinated and now coming back from the dead (don’t tell me that was a spoiler; welcome to the world of comics) is just getting out of hand. Why couldn’t we stick with the original Captain fighting terrorists and growing as a character?

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 The Groo Adventurer – Sergio Aragones

I always liked this series about a completely inept and moronic barbarian brought to us by the margin filler of Mad magazine, and this collection is a good enough introduction. I suppose it was always doomed to fail in a medium of superheroes, but the tales are really clever and, other than Evan Dorkin, you won’t find another artist who spends so such energy making inconsequential background worth dwelling on.

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 In the Red


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Did you not get a Christmas card from us this year? You must have been very naughty! Either that or we don’t have your address. Send it to us at armzrace@amzrace.com.

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 The Punisher vol 9: Long Cold Dark – Garth Ennis

Vigilante Frank Castle, aka The Punisher, goes up against another total lunatic, Barracuda, in a mildly racist showdown over who is the more violent as the two attempt to murder each other. Oh, and there is a baby involved. I’d probably like this if it was just toned down a notch.

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 The Punisher vol 2: Army of One – Garth Ennis

For the most part this collection is a rematch between vigilante Frank Castle (The Punisher) and the ridiculous assassin The Russian, as Castle attempts to stop a mercenary army with a WMD. Ennis lives for over the top violence and making mainstream Marvel superheroes (who usually just show up at the wrong time) look like morons, but I just can’t get into it.

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 But I’m Stimulating the Economy

My credit card number has been stolen.

Third time in six weeks!

What really makes me mad is that the crooks are having better times than I am.

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 Hulk/Thing: Hard Knocks – Bruce Jones

Writer Bruce Jones’ take on the Hulk doesn’t always thrill me, but I give him credit for attempting to be interesting. This collection is really a conversation between the Thing (a la Fantastic Four) and the not so jolly green giant, about being labeled a monster based on their appearances. Jae Lee’s art and June Chung’s coloring gives the book a surreal feel (more surreal than two super-strong creatures having a chat?). In the end I can’t say I fully enjoyed the work or think it added much to the Marvel world, but it is a step in the right direction.

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 Scud The Disposable Assassin: The Whole Shebang! – Rob Schrab

I started reading this back when it first was coming out and gave up on it because I felt it was just too much quirky art and shooting. Not that that’s a problem mind you, the art was rather fun, filled with sweeping black and white pictures of slick robots and strange aliens, it just was that I wanted more. Luckily for me I gave it another try when I got the complete collection (which isn’t that long), as it turned out to be what I was looking for after all. Scud is a vending machine available robot designed to kill a target and then explode. He is sent to terminate a strange conglomerate creature that speaks in pop culture quotes only to discover what will happen upon completion of his task. Cleverly, he cripples the creature and gets her on life support, thus starting a chain of events where he must hire himself out in order to pay the upkeep. This is where I originally gave up, but with my second attempt learned that the plot also dealt with romance, family, friendship, and tricky evil machinations, and how can you not love such characters as Voo Doo Benjamin Franklin?! I’m certainly glad I read it and wonder why I haven’t seen other works from this guy?

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 Let the true November holiday step forward!

Let’s bring back Evacuation Day! Screw those lobsterbacks!

Check it!

and watch/read this!

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 Gobble-Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving, from all your ArmzRace friends! Here are some vaguely interesting facts related to our current tradition. Now give me a wing or I’ll drown you in the gravy boat!

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 Ghostopolis – Doug TenNapel

When Garth gets accidentally sucked into the afterlife it is up to Agent Frank Gallows and his ex-fiance (who is a ghost) to get him back before the evil tyrant Vaugner destroys them all. While richly illustrated and colored, the story reads as if a good 25% of important plot information is missing. Unfortunately, the Jesus stand in, Joe, isn’t part of the missing pages. It’s a good idea that never comes together.

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 99%

And I teach your kids.

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